Friday, October 7, 2011

Memories Are More Important Than "Stuff"

I was glancing through my FB feed and found a link from Sharpie to a Glamour article about some chick and what she did to her wedding dress...Entitled  "Um, Would You Let Your Wedding Guests Do THIS to Your Wedding Gown?"

They were speaking of this:

photo credit:

So I clicked on through, to read the whole story, which was a cute little story and I enjoyed it.  Until I got to the comments.  THIS is why I should not be allowed to go to  I just don't understand these people, and I have no desire to try to.  All of the responses are of the "omg nooooo!" "what is WRONG with her!" variety, and I just don't get it.  I quickly hit the Comment button and then sat there trying to figure out how I could possibly get my point across to these Barbies in such a small little box. I promptly realized that I'd be wasting my proverbial breath with them, so I decided to just come here and vent about it instead, so here:

Personally, I think it's a great idea.  The whole point of throwing a big wedding is to share your special day with those you consider dear to you, so why not have memories of those special people shared on the one piece of fabric that was most important to the day itself?  I mean, regardless of the time, thought, and money spent on that one bunch of fabric, is it ever going to do anything other than sit in your closet for the rest of your life (unless you burn it at a divorce party or whatever - that's a whole different story), in it's little protective sleeve, on it's special little wooden hanger?  Every time you clean out your closet you'll look at it, without unzipping, and say 'oh yeah, there's my wedding dress'.  No need to open it; you know what it looks like.  And it gets shoved away to the far right or far left again, to only be thought of again the next time you clean the closet or move to a new place.  

Granted, if you plan on handing it down to your daughter for her wedding, that's a different story, and I won't knock that at all.  But, that's not what the Barbies were saying! It was all "why would you do something like that to the dress that you painstakingly picked out, and paid so much money for?!"  Amongst these Barbies, there was one that stood out, if only because she was 'almost' as sensible as I felt about it.  She said that the only thing wrong with it would be a storage issue, as compared to a traditional guest book, and then she lost me when she said "It's much easier to store a guest book and pull it off a shelf every once in a while to enjoy it." 

Sorry, maybe it's because I've never actually been married, or had a wedding, but I don't believe there would ever actually be a time where I'd just decide to pull my guest book off the shelf to enjoy it. It just seems like it'd be one of those sentimental items that would just sit there, on the coffee table or living room shelf for awhile until I got tired of dusting it or cleaning around it, and then it would be shoved into a box or drawer somewhere. Seriously, I just don't get it. And how would a mostly-forgotten guest book not compare to say....having your loved ones, from both sides of a new family - YOUR new family - the first time they've most likely all been together in the same place, and quite possibly the last - signing the ridiculously overpriced piece of fabric that you purchased specifically for this occasion, that you could now turn into a family quilt...or make a shadowbox with it, including other pieces - samples of bridal favors, the cake topper, whatever...

I don't know, maybe I'm just being simplistic but I don't understand why this gown is considered 'untouchable'. To me, it makes more sense to let the pure unbridled joy of the situation, and the day itself, shine through....

Maybe it's just me. I'm more about the people in my life than the possessions I guess. I bought my wedding dress years ago, because there was a going-out-of-business sale at a bridal shop and I liked the dress and I could get it for under $200. I had no one to marry at that point, and don't even know if I'll ever actually be able to use it at all.  I saw the opportunity to buy something I knew I wanted to wear someday on my "big day" for a much lower price than I would get when the day finally happened. If it doesn't, I'll throw an old maid party just for the excuse to wear it - and you can bet your ass there will be a shitload of Sharpies around for that little bitch!   Maybe I just think too practically, but I really do think that the most important part of that big day should be the people you choose to share it with, not a piece of fabric.

Am I wrong?  Or do you agree? Or do you think I just got myself all worked up over something completely inconsequential?  All of the above answers are acceptable, but tell me why you feel that way...I'm nothing if I'm not open-minded.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Spring Showers in Fall

This past weekend I did something that I really should do more often. I took some time to step back and really take stock of my present everyday life and realized that - holy crap I absolutely love where I am right now! There have been many times in the past where I've "counted my blessings", but it was always out of necessity.  It was always done at a time when I was so miserable that I needed to find good things to cling to. This time was different.  It was just an instant realization that suddenly washed over me and filled me with hope, completely unprovoked, like a spring shower that comes quickly out of nowhere and then just as rapidly dissipates, leaving the world a little cleaner and brighter in its wake.

Yeah, I know....sappy huh?

Well, sometimes ya just need the sappy I guess.

So, here is my spring shower list, in no particular order and most likely incomplete, of the things that make my days a little brighter, cleaner, and shinier than they have been in many many years:

  • I have two absolutely beautiful children who unwittingly spend every minute of every day reminding me of what's really important; bear hugs, wet sloppy kisses, belly laughs, reckless unabashed dancing, big satisfying puddle-jumps, and quiet contented snuggles.

  • I'm afforded the opportunity to be at home, enjoying them just for being them and concentrating on molding them into the people I want them to be.  Sure, the car is falling apart, the bills are sometimes late, and vacations aren't within our reach, but there's food in the pantry and we're absolutely overflowing and rich with the other, more essential stuff.

  • I have an amazing man who loves me for who and what I am rather than what I can do for him.  Who takes the time every single day to tell me I'm beautiful, even when I've been in the same pajamas for a week. Who works his ass off day in and day out to provide me the freedom to be here with my children every day.  Who has handed me the ability to love freely without fear, confident in the fact that I will receive that love right back ten-fold. Who has always loved, cherished, and generally treated my daughter as if she were his own, even before we were romantically involved.

  • I have an entire network of extraordinary friends, both old and new, who forgive my discrepancies and appreciate me as I am.  They make me laugh when I want to laugh, and they offer a shoulder when I need to cry. I'm extremely lucky in the number of quality friendships I have; they're like an army that are always somehow fighting for me in a myriad of different ways.

As I string these words together; set them down in black and white, I can feel the stresses and worries of everyday life just shrinking and getting smaller and smaller in my mind.  It's an amazing feeling.  It's like a big comforting blanket; you know the kind of blanket I'm talking about.  The one that you can just immerse yourself in and all the pain, hurt and anguish you've ever felt will just float away. For once, it's just nice to know that I'm no longer using that blanket to hide from my life; I'm using it to snuggle up and embrace it.

So, what about you?  Have you taken the time recently to just be grateful for your little showers?