Saturday, February 18, 2012

I really think the snowflakes should just be part of the snow

I mean really, we all were a snowflake once.  I made it through, and learned some things along the way. That's part of being a kid!  You live; you learn. The concept worked through decades upon decades. Yet, all of the sudden, its just not good enough. It completely sickens me when our children are utilized to further an adults opinion, and I really have to call it out when I see it.

This is in response to this post, technically:
http://viewsfromthecouch.com/2012/02/12/you-didnt-thank-me-for-punching-you-in-the-fac/

But, that one post isn't the exact catalyst.  It's more of a basic trend that seems to be happening amongst parents these days. Everyone wants to blame society for whatever they perceive they're doing wrong.  Yet, they're not actually doing anything wrong, nor is society!  Socially, everything is exactly the same as its always been. And ya know what?  It worked for us!  We learned from our mistakes; which is exactly what grade school is for.

I have a very distinct memory.  I was in third grade, I believe...maybe fourth.  It was recess, and for some reason we had a boys vs., girls war going on.  There was tagging, there was hair pulling, there was scratching...It wasn't pretty by any means.  The bell rang, and as we were lining up to go inside, I got one last really good scratch in on the hand of one of the boys.  He turned around and looked at me, showed me that I had really hurt him, and left it at that. And ya know what happened there? I learned, right then and there, the difference between playing around and actually hurting someone.  And I've carried that with me through my next 20 to 30 years of life.  Plus, at the same time, he earned 24 kids' respect.  Everybody learned a lesson in respect that day... He took the high road, and every single one of us in that line learned a true, innate lesson. 

My point is, we can pick apart the schools and what they don't do for our children every day, but...the only reason that one confrontation didn't come to more was because MY PARENTS had taken the time to teach  me right from wrong and basic respect, and also that I'll make mistakes and that's fine as long as I own up to them.  That boy's parents had obviously taught him the same - mutual respect; show people when they make a mistake so they learn.

I just really don't understand why it's the school's responsibility to teach your child to deal with adversity?  If he had gone up and told the teacher about it instead, then I would've written "I will not scratch my friends" 20 times on the chalkboard and it would've been just a funny thing to me and every single one of my peers, and been dismissed.  The lesson that I, and every single person in that recess line, learned from that one interaction was more powerful than anything that could've been 'taught'. The fact that I carry it to this day, 25 years later, should be testament to that fact.

I understand where the sentiment is coming from.  I did go on to live through ten grueling years of domestic abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual) but, I can honestly say, that the reason I ended up there had nothing to do with the whole "its because he likes you" thing.  I did my share of "its because she likes you" behavior too.  Its childhood; its testing your boundaries.  Every kid does it - male or female. 

Its part of learning your boundaries.

Its part of learning how to function within society without Mommy being there every step of the way.

Its just....growing up.

It shouldn't be a big political issue where Mommy blows it out of proportion just because its suddenly acceptable to do so.

It shouldn't be labeled as "bullying" just because that's the catchword of the year,

Its kids, trying desperately to learn how to interact with the world, and they'll make mistakes, and their peers will see them make mistakes, and they'll all learn from it, and they'll adjust their behavior accordingly. Together, as a whole....till that one mommy gives them a way out, by crying wolf when it's really a beagle; causing a big shiatstorm when there really shouldn't be one.  All they're learning from that is 'yell loud enough and maybe you'll get your way'.  Yeah...that's a much better lesson...

Also reminds me of this; another Mommy causing a big shiatstorm where there shouldn't have been one, and the children would have never known the difference if it wasn't for Mommy trying to be politically correct:

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120216/NEWS/302160171/Preschool-stirs-up-tempest-beer-stein?odyssey=nav|head

What's wrong with schools these days?!  Parents interfering with their childrens' education.  Seriously.  If they didn't have to deal with shit like this, maybe...just maybe...they'd actually have time to educate our children.