Saturday, February 18, 2012

I really think the snowflakes should just be part of the snow

I mean really, we all were a snowflake once.  I made it through, and learned some things along the way. That's part of being a kid!  You live; you learn. The concept worked through decades upon decades. Yet, all of the sudden, its just not good enough. It completely sickens me when our children are utilized to further an adults opinion, and I really have to call it out when I see it.

This is in response to this post, technically:
http://viewsfromthecouch.com/2012/02/12/you-didnt-thank-me-for-punching-you-in-the-fac/

But, that one post isn't the exact catalyst.  It's more of a basic trend that seems to be happening amongst parents these days. Everyone wants to blame society for whatever they perceive they're doing wrong.  Yet, they're not actually doing anything wrong, nor is society!  Socially, everything is exactly the same as its always been. And ya know what?  It worked for us!  We learned from our mistakes; which is exactly what grade school is for.

I have a very distinct memory.  I was in third grade, I believe...maybe fourth.  It was recess, and for some reason we had a boys vs., girls war going on.  There was tagging, there was hair pulling, there was scratching...It wasn't pretty by any means.  The bell rang, and as we were lining up to go inside, I got one last really good scratch in on the hand of one of the boys.  He turned around and looked at me, showed me that I had really hurt him, and left it at that. And ya know what happened there? I learned, right then and there, the difference between playing around and actually hurting someone.  And I've carried that with me through my next 20 to 30 years of life.  Plus, at the same time, he earned 24 kids' respect.  Everybody learned a lesson in respect that day... He took the high road, and every single one of us in that line learned a true, innate lesson. 

My point is, we can pick apart the schools and what they don't do for our children every day, but...the only reason that one confrontation didn't come to more was because MY PARENTS had taken the time to teach  me right from wrong and basic respect, and also that I'll make mistakes and that's fine as long as I own up to them.  That boy's parents had obviously taught him the same - mutual respect; show people when they make a mistake so they learn.

I just really don't understand why it's the school's responsibility to teach your child to deal with adversity?  If he had gone up and told the teacher about it instead, then I would've written "I will not scratch my friends" 20 times on the chalkboard and it would've been just a funny thing to me and every single one of my peers, and been dismissed.  The lesson that I, and every single person in that recess line, learned from that one interaction was more powerful than anything that could've been 'taught'. The fact that I carry it to this day, 25 years later, should be testament to that fact.

I understand where the sentiment is coming from.  I did go on to live through ten grueling years of domestic abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual) but, I can honestly say, that the reason I ended up there had nothing to do with the whole "its because he likes you" thing.  I did my share of "its because she likes you" behavior too.  Its childhood; its testing your boundaries.  Every kid does it - male or female. 

Its part of learning your boundaries.

Its part of learning how to function within society without Mommy being there every step of the way.

Its just....growing up.

It shouldn't be a big political issue where Mommy blows it out of proportion just because its suddenly acceptable to do so.

It shouldn't be labeled as "bullying" just because that's the catchword of the year,

Its kids, trying desperately to learn how to interact with the world, and they'll make mistakes, and their peers will see them make mistakes, and they'll all learn from it, and they'll adjust their behavior accordingly. Together, as a whole....till that one mommy gives them a way out, by crying wolf when it's really a beagle; causing a big shiatstorm when there really shouldn't be one.  All they're learning from that is 'yell loud enough and maybe you'll get your way'.  Yeah...that's a much better lesson...

Also reminds me of this; another Mommy causing a big shiatstorm where there shouldn't have been one, and the children would have never known the difference if it wasn't for Mommy trying to be politically correct:

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120216/NEWS/302160171/Preschool-stirs-up-tempest-beer-stein?odyssey=nav|head

What's wrong with schools these days?!  Parents interfering with their childrens' education.  Seriously.  If they didn't have to deal with shit like this, maybe...just maybe...they'd actually have time to educate our children.

Monday, November 7, 2011

If You Need Me, I'll Be Face-Down on The Carpet

So yeah...I haven't been around....for my whole THREE regular readers - Sorry about that; it's been a busy month.

But, for once, busy in a good way! I could probably write a zillion and one words and still not cover everything, so I'm just gonna let some pictures take up a few thousand of em...

We discovered the joys of grass while Big Sis finally figured out how to use the brakes on her bike!



We went to Halloween parties and did corn mazes with bizarre scarecrows that may have ruined my entire perception of Sesame Street characters forever!



We made our own scarecrows and may have captured the only physical evidence that the fabled Mommy-beast really exists!



We (ok, Mommy-beast MAY be stretching the word "we" here...technically she sat on her ass drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and taking pics) built a ramp at a friend's house for his new wheelchair!


We had a freak snowstorm out of nowhere and then reaped the benefits of playing with the beach toys that were still out - yes, as a matter of fact, that IS the garden hose and sprinkler as well!



We, of course, went trick-or-treating!



All of these things took up a bit of our time, but there is one thing left that has taken up the most time of all...

This right here....



...has basically made the Mommy-beast a permanent fixture on the living room floor; making an ass of herself with constant utterances of "Come on buddy, you can do it! Come on over and see mommy!" while he yells indignantly at the floor for not doing the job for him. He's soooo close to crawling we can both taste it, and the suspense is killing both of us. Honestly, I think it's only killing me; I'm fairly convinced he already does it every single time my back is turned and he's having a helluva time keeping it to himself and laughing his ass off to himself every time I get down there on all fours with my silly words of encouragement...

But yeah, so that's where I've been and what we've been up to. Nothing exciting or miraculous; just enjoying the simple moments together. I promise my next post will be more entertaining and well-thought-out or whatever. Till then, I'm headed back to the carpet - help me cheer him on, will ya?!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Memories Are More Important Than "Stuff"

I was glancing through my FB feed and found a link from Sharpie to a Glamour article about some chick and what she did to her wedding dress...Entitled  "Um, Would You Let Your Wedding Guests Do THIS to Your Wedding Gown?"


They were speaking of this:


photo credit: Glamour.com

So I clicked on through, to read the whole story, which was a cute little story and I enjoyed it.  Until I got to the comments.  THIS is why I should not be allowed to go to Glamour.com.  I just don't understand these people, and I have no desire to try to.  All of the responses are of the "omg nooooo!" "what is WRONG with her!" variety, and I just don't get it.  I quickly hit the Comment button and then sat there trying to figure out how I could possibly get my point across to these Barbies in such a small little box. I promptly realized that I'd be wasting my proverbial breath with them, so I decided to just come here and vent about it instead, so here:

Personally, I think it's a great idea.  The whole point of throwing a big wedding is to share your special day with those you consider dear to you, so why not have memories of those special people shared on the one piece of fabric that was most important to the day itself?  I mean, regardless of the time, thought, and money spent on that one bunch of fabric, is it ever going to do anything other than sit in your closet for the rest of your life (unless you burn it at a divorce party or whatever - that's a whole different story), in it's little protective sleeve, on it's special little wooden hanger?  Every time you clean out your closet you'll look at it, without unzipping, and say 'oh yeah, there's my wedding dress'.  No need to open it; you know what it looks like.  And it gets shoved away to the far right or far left again, to only be thought of again the next time you clean the closet or move to a new place.  

Granted, if you plan on handing it down to your daughter for her wedding, that's a different story, and I won't knock that at all.  But, that's not what the Barbies were saying! It was all "why would you do something like that to the dress that you painstakingly picked out, and paid so much money for?!"  Amongst these Barbies, there was one that stood out, if only because she was 'almost' as sensible as I felt about it.  She said that the only thing wrong with it would be a storage issue, as compared to a traditional guest book, and then she lost me when she said "It's much easier to store a guest book and pull it off a shelf every once in a while to enjoy it." 

Sorry, maybe it's because I've never actually been married, or had a wedding, but I don't believe there would ever actually be a time where I'd just decide to pull my guest book off the shelf to enjoy it. It just seems like it'd be one of those sentimental items that would just sit there, on the coffee table or living room shelf for awhile until I got tired of dusting it or cleaning around it, and then it would be shoved into a box or drawer somewhere. Seriously, I just don't get it. And how would a mostly-forgotten guest book not compare to say....having your loved ones, from both sides of a new family - YOUR new family - the first time they've most likely all been together in the same place, and quite possibly the last - signing the ridiculously overpriced piece of fabric that you purchased specifically for this occasion, that you could now turn into a family quilt...or make a shadowbox with it, including other pieces - samples of bridal favors, the cake topper, whatever...


I don't know, maybe I'm just being simplistic but I don't understand why this gown is considered 'untouchable'. To me, it makes more sense to let the pure unbridled joy of the situation, and the day itself, shine through....


Maybe it's just me. I'm more about the people in my life than the possessions I guess. I bought my wedding dress years ago, because there was a going-out-of-business sale at a bridal shop and I liked the dress and I could get it for under $200. I had no one to marry at that point, and don't even know if I'll ever actually be able to use it at all.  I saw the opportunity to buy something I knew I wanted to wear someday on my "big day" for a much lower price than I would get when the day finally happened. If it doesn't, I'll throw an old maid party just for the excuse to wear it - and you can bet your ass there will be a shitload of Sharpies around for that little bitch!   Maybe I just think too practically, but I really do think that the most important part of that big day should be the people you choose to share it with, not a piece of fabric.




Am I wrong?  Or do you agree? Or do you think I just got myself all worked up over something completely inconsequential?  All of the above answers are acceptable, but tell me why you feel that way...I'm nothing if I'm not open-minded.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Spring Showers in Fall

This past weekend I did something that I really should do more often. I took some time to step back and really take stock of my present everyday life and realized that - holy crap I absolutely love where I am right now! There have been many times in the past where I've "counted my blessings", but it was always out of necessity.  It was always done at a time when I was so miserable that I needed to find good things to cling to. This time was different.  It was just an instant realization that suddenly washed over me and filled me with hope, completely unprovoked, like a spring shower that comes quickly out of nowhere and then just as rapidly dissipates, leaving the world a little cleaner and brighter in its wake.



Yeah, I know....sappy huh?



Well, sometimes ya just need the sappy I guess.



So, here is my spring shower list, in no particular order and most likely incomplete, of the things that make my days a little brighter, cleaner, and shinier than they have been in many many years:




  • I have two absolutely beautiful children who unwittingly spend every minute of every day reminding me of what's really important; bear hugs, wet sloppy kisses, belly laughs, reckless unabashed dancing, big satisfying puddle-jumps, and quiet contented snuggles.



  • I'm afforded the opportunity to be at home, enjoying them just for being them and concentrating on molding them into the people I want them to be.  Sure, the car is falling apart, the bills are sometimes late, and vacations aren't within our reach, but there's food in the pantry and we're absolutely overflowing and rich with the other, more essential stuff.



  • I have an amazing man who loves me for who and what I am rather than what I can do for him.  Who takes the time every single day to tell me I'm beautiful, even when I've been in the same pajamas for a week. Who works his ass off day in and day out to provide me the freedom to be here with my children every day.  Who has handed me the ability to love freely without fear, confident in the fact that I will receive that love right back ten-fold. Who has always loved, cherished, and generally treated my daughter as if she were his own, even before we were romantically involved.



  • I have an entire network of extraordinary friends, both old and new, who forgive my discrepancies and appreciate me as I am.  They make me laugh when I want to laugh, and they offer a shoulder when I need to cry. I'm extremely lucky in the number of quality friendships I have; they're like an army that are always somehow fighting for me in a myriad of different ways.




As I string these words together; set them down in black and white, I can feel the stresses and worries of everyday life just shrinking and getting smaller and smaller in my mind.  It's an amazing feeling.  It's like a big comforting blanket; you know the kind of blanket I'm talking about.  The one that you can just immerse yourself in and all the pain, hurt and anguish you've ever felt will just float away. For once, it's just nice to know that I'm no longer using that blanket to hide from my life; I'm using it to snuggle up and embrace it.





So, what about you?  Have you taken the time recently to just be grateful for your little showers?

Friday, September 30, 2011

From the Mouth(s) of Babe(s)

We'll start with something that's benign enough where nobody can get offended. I'm putting the parenthetical (s) up there in hopes that a) I'll still be here babbling away once the smallest of my tribe actually has something other than drool coming out of his mouth, and b) I can commit to just one damn thing in my life aside from my children doing more of these on a somewhat regular basis.

Note: I haven't come up with witty names for the wee ones yet.  At first I thought it'd be all cute and clever to refer to them as my Lackeys - get it? Lackadaisical...Lackeys?  But, they're not MY manservants; I am theirs, so that didn't fit.  I'm working on it, just deal with it for now mmkay?

Anywho...

Anybody who has ever spent time in the presence of toddlers knows that they develop their own way of saying things, and it never ceases to crack me up at times.

Prime example:  My 4 year old daughter (see? that was a lot of work to type - this is why I need clever monikers for these little people! Gah!) likes to sing to her little brother to calm him down.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Awww that's adorable!" and it really is, but it gets better....

She sings You Are My Sunshine (again, adorable in itself). But, I noticed last week that her version of the song is slightly different than the original.....

You are my sunshiiiiine
My only sunshiiiiiine
You make me happeeeeee
Because you're gay

I gotta say, she's totally got it right.  The traditional definition of the word "gay" is indeed happy.  Add to that; I've never met a gay person, in the modern sense of the word, that hasn't made me smile. So yeah, I'm officially changing the words to this song...

Aww crap, I really said I was gonna start this with something benign that nobody could take offense to, and then totally hit some weird gay rights tone with it or something.  I seriously suck at this blog thing already...