Friday, October 7, 2011

Memories Are More Important Than "Stuff"

I was glancing through my FB feed and found a link from Sharpie to a Glamour article about some chick and what she did to her wedding dress...Entitled  "Um, Would You Let Your Wedding Guests Do THIS to Your Wedding Gown?"

They were speaking of this:

photo credit:

So I clicked on through, to read the whole story, which was a cute little story and I enjoyed it.  Until I got to the comments.  THIS is why I should not be allowed to go to  I just don't understand these people, and I have no desire to try to.  All of the responses are of the "omg nooooo!" "what is WRONG with her!" variety, and I just don't get it.  I quickly hit the Comment button and then sat there trying to figure out how I could possibly get my point across to these Barbies in such a small little box. I promptly realized that I'd be wasting my proverbial breath with them, so I decided to just come here and vent about it instead, so here:

Personally, I think it's a great idea.  The whole point of throwing a big wedding is to share your special day with those you consider dear to you, so why not have memories of those special people shared on the one piece of fabric that was most important to the day itself?  I mean, regardless of the time, thought, and money spent on that one bunch of fabric, is it ever going to do anything other than sit in your closet for the rest of your life (unless you burn it at a divorce party or whatever - that's a whole different story), in it's little protective sleeve, on it's special little wooden hanger?  Every time you clean out your closet you'll look at it, without unzipping, and say 'oh yeah, there's my wedding dress'.  No need to open it; you know what it looks like.  And it gets shoved away to the far right or far left again, to only be thought of again the next time you clean the closet or move to a new place.  

Granted, if you plan on handing it down to your daughter for her wedding, that's a different story, and I won't knock that at all.  But, that's not what the Barbies were saying! It was all "why would you do something like that to the dress that you painstakingly picked out, and paid so much money for?!"  Amongst these Barbies, there was one that stood out, if only because she was 'almost' as sensible as I felt about it.  She said that the only thing wrong with it would be a storage issue, as compared to a traditional guest book, and then she lost me when she said "It's much easier to store a guest book and pull it off a shelf every once in a while to enjoy it." 

Sorry, maybe it's because I've never actually been married, or had a wedding, but I don't believe there would ever actually be a time where I'd just decide to pull my guest book off the shelf to enjoy it. It just seems like it'd be one of those sentimental items that would just sit there, on the coffee table or living room shelf for awhile until I got tired of dusting it or cleaning around it, and then it would be shoved into a box or drawer somewhere. Seriously, I just don't get it. And how would a mostly-forgotten guest book not compare to say....having your loved ones, from both sides of a new family - YOUR new family - the first time they've most likely all been together in the same place, and quite possibly the last - signing the ridiculously overpriced piece of fabric that you purchased specifically for this occasion, that you could now turn into a family quilt...or make a shadowbox with it, including other pieces - samples of bridal favors, the cake topper, whatever...

I don't know, maybe I'm just being simplistic but I don't understand why this gown is considered 'untouchable'. To me, it makes more sense to let the pure unbridled joy of the situation, and the day itself, shine through....

Maybe it's just me. I'm more about the people in my life than the possessions I guess. I bought my wedding dress years ago, because there was a going-out-of-business sale at a bridal shop and I liked the dress and I could get it for under $200. I had no one to marry at that point, and don't even know if I'll ever actually be able to use it at all.  I saw the opportunity to buy something I knew I wanted to wear someday on my "big day" for a much lower price than I would get when the day finally happened. If it doesn't, I'll throw an old maid party just for the excuse to wear it - and you can bet your ass there will be a shitload of Sharpies around for that little bitch!   Maybe I just think too practically, but I really do think that the most important part of that big day should be the people you choose to share it with, not a piece of fabric.

Am I wrong?  Or do you agree? Or do you think I just got myself all worked up over something completely inconsequential?  All of the above answers are acceptable, but tell me why you feel that way...I'm nothing if I'm not open-minded.


  1. Oh hell no, I love what she did and wish I had done the same

  2. I have to say, I actually do pull my guest book out from time to time -- but that's because I had people sign a coffee table book with pictures and sayings from Ireland (where we went for our honeymoon). I keep it on the shelf under the coffee table in the front room, so sometimes when my baby is in there playing I'll pull it out and flip through it. But if it was just a regular guest book, there's no way I'd ever look at it or even remember where I stored it.

    I love the idea of having guests sign your wedding dress. I wouldn't do it, personally, but I love the idea. Not sure WHY I wouldn't do i t-- you make a very valid argument, and I agree with you totally. And my dress was only $400, so it's not like it would be marring a $20K purchase. But I know I wouldn't be able to let anyone near it with a Sharpie no matter how much I love the idea. Call me irrational or sentimental but there it is :)